“I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years”
-Tim McGraw-
Well the day has arrived! I am officially 30 on Thursday. I wish that I could tell you that I am ecstatic to turn 30, but if I am honest with you, I am more disappointed then ecstatic. I am not saying that I am not thankful for the 30 years, or that I do not feel blessed for the life that God has given me. I just had pre-conceived notions of where I thought I would be in life when I turned 30, and I am no where near where I thought I would be or where I hoped I would be.
In my perfect world my husband and I would be living in a beautiful home that we owned and we would have 3 little ones running around. I would be traveling and speaking to teenage girls about their worth. I would be established. I would be effective. I would be “grown up” and over my “issues”.
The reality is that my husband and I are living in a home we rent, we can’t get pregnant, and it seems like the only traveling I do is from the couch to the fridge to get a snack to bring back to the couch to catch up on some “quality” TV. I still feel jealous. I still deal with bitterness. I still struggle with gossiping. I still struggle with speaking before I think.
It’s time to put on my Jesus glasses and see through His eyes. First and foremost I have a God that I am absolutely in love with that I get the honor and privilege to serve, know, and love! I am married to an amazing man that loves the Lord and that I am so beyond in love with. I am blessed with an incredible family that supports me and loves me. I have a circle of friends that anyone would give a limb to have. I have a church family that is exactly that, a family! I am blessed with health. God has given me a year of emotional, relational, and spiritual healing without the distraction of working. I know that I have struggles, but who doesn’t? The Lord knows the intentions of my heart, so even when I screw up, He still loves me and patiently and gracefully instructs me. I have so much to be thankful for!
I am blessed! I have had an incredible 30 years. I know that the next 30 years will be even better than the first! As long as I keep my eyes focused on the Lord, there will be good to come! I serve such an amazing God that is faithful to finish the work He has started in me.
My goal in my next 30 years is to celebrate each year that I am blessed with…Here’s to my next 30 years!
